All posts by Rod

Explaining Shadow Work

An interesting view of Shadow Work

Imagine yourself on a stage. You play a well-defined role, your “public” persona, the face you show to the world. But backstage, hidden in the shadows, lurks another side: your “shadow self.” These are the aspects of yourself you deem unwelcome, perhaps even “negative” – strong emotions like anger or jealousy, hidden desires, or impulses you repress.

Shadow work is like venturing backstage, exploring those neglected corners. It’s about shining a light on the parts you’ve kept hidden, not to judge them, but to understand them. It’s about accepting that these hidden aspects are a natural part of your whole self, even if they’re uncomfortable.

Think of it like digging for buried treasure. The shadows might initially seem scary or messy, but they hold untapped potential and valuable learnings. You might discover the root of certain insecurities, unlock hidden creative energies, or gain deeper self-compassion. If you find a good shadow work practitioner or facilitator, they can help you on your journey.

How you can start your shadow work journey

Pay attention to projections: When you encounter someone who triggers strong negative emotions, ask yourself, “Are these feelings actually theirs, or am I projecting my own shadow aspects onto them?”

Journalling: Write about your dreams, recurring thoughts, and any situations that cause intense emotions. Explore what these might reveal about your shadow self.

Creative exploration: Use art, music, or movement to express your hidden emotions and desires in a safe way.

Meditation: Mindfulness practices can help you become more aware of your subconscious thoughts and feelings, revealing glimpses of your shadow.

Remember, shadow work is a process, not a destination. It can be challenging, but it also holds immense potential for personal growth and self-acceptance. Be patient, approach it with curiosity and compassion, and don’t be afraid to seek guidance from a therapist or experienced practitioner if needed.

About shadow work
https://youtu.be/iH0UEkufz_Q

About training  as a shadow work practititioner
https://www.youtube.com/embed/kXr4T4kUh4s

A look at the concept of archetypes 

Imagine, deep down in your heart, there are echoes of stories whispered across generations. These echoes are archetypes – universal patterns, characters, and themes that resonate with people all over the world, regardless of culture or time.

Think of them like the building blocks of our shared human experience. The wise wizard, the cunning trickster, the star-crossed lovers – these are all archetypes that pop up in myths, fairy tales, even our own dreams and imaginations.

Why? Because they tap into fundamental human instincts, fears, and aspirations. The hero battling a monster? That’s our struggle against inner demons or external challenges. The damsel in distress? Represents our vulnerability and need for connection.

Archetypes aren’t rigid stereotypes, though. They’re more like templates that get fleshed out in different ways. Like clay sculpted into various figures, the specific details of an archetype – a warrior’s weapon, a trickster’s disguise – might change, but the core essence remains.

So, what’s the point of understanding these archetypes? Well, they become a lens through which we can interpret stories, our own lives, and the world around us. They help us find meaning in universal struggles, connect with different cultures, and even recognize our own hidden motivations and desires.

Here are some ways to see archetypes at work

Movies and books: Think of Luke Skywalker in Star Wars – classic hero archetype facing a dark foe. Or Disney princesses who embody different aspects of the “maiden” archetype.

Myths and legends: Hercules battling the Hydra? Classic hero against a monster. Robin Hood? Trickster fighting for justice.

Your own life: We all have internal struggles, moments of courage or vulnerability, that echo these archetypal themes.

Understanding archetypes doesn’t make you an expert in human nature, but it gives you a cool appreciation for the shared stories that bind us together. It’s like learning a secret language that whispers in myths, movies, and even your own dreams! So, next time you encounter a familiar character or theme, keep your eyes peeled for the archetype within – it might just reveal something about yourself and the world around you.

The aim of shadow work is emotional maturity – but what does that mean?

Emotional maturity can be a bit of a tricky concept, especially for someone approaching therapy for the first time. It’s not about being “perfect” or never feeling strong emotions, but rather about developing healthy ways to understand, manage, and express those emotions. If you find a good shadow work practitioner or facilitator, they can help you on your journey of understanding yourself. Here’s a metaphorical explanation…

Imagine yourself standing on a path, with your younger self a few steps behind you. As you walk forward, you encounter various bumps and obstacles – challenges, setbacks, and difficult emotions.

Emotional immaturity might be like your younger self tripping over every bump, getting frustrated or lashing out, and struggling to get back on track. You might blame others, avoid the challenges, or simply bottle up your emotions, leading to unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Emotional maturity, on the other hand, is like having learned to navigate the path more skillfully. You can still stumble sometimes, but you have the tools to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep moving forward. Here are some key aspects of emotional maturity:

Self-awareness: Recognizing and understanding your own emotions, triggers, and needs. It’s like having a good map of your inner landscape.
Emotional regulation: Managing your emotions in a healthy way, even when they’re intense. This doesn’t mean suppressing them, but learning to express them constructively.
Effective communication: Being able to talk about your feelings openly and honestly, while also listening to and respecting the perspectives of others.
Healthy boundaries: Knowing your limits and being able to say “no” without feeling guilty. It’s like setting up fences around your emotional garden to protect your well-being.
Taking responsibility: Owning your actions and choices, even when things go wrong. This doesn’t mean beating yourself up, but learning from your mistakes and moving forward.
Empathy: Understanding and caring about the feelings of others, even when they’re different from your own.

Therapy can be a great way to develop these skills and gain a deeper understanding of yourself. It’s a safe space to explore your emotions, learn new coping mechanisms, and practice healthier ways of relating to yourself and others. Remember, emotional maturity is a journey, not a destination. There will be ups and downs, but with each step you take, you can build a stronger, more resilient emotional foundation.

Here are some additional things to keep in mind:

Emotional maturity is a spectrum, not a binary. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, and there’s no one-size-fits-all definition of what it means to be emotionally mature.

It’s okay to ask for help. Therapy is a sign of strength, not weakness. If you’re struggling with your emotions, don’t be afraid to reach out for professional support.

Be patient with yourself. Growth takes time, so don’t get discouraged if you don’t see results overnight. Celebrate your progress, even the small victories.

Remember, you’re not alone on this journey. Therapy can be a valuable tool to help you navigate the path towards emotional maturity, and become the best version of yourself.

The difference between male and female archetypes

The concept of “male” and “female” archetypes can be a bit of a minefield, and with good reason. Assigning distinct qualities to entire genders based on outdated stereotypes can be harmful and inaccurate. However, there are ways to explore these archetypes without falling into those pitfalls.

Here’s an approach:

Instead of thinking of them as rigid boxes, see them as two sides of a coin, two sets of universal energies that exist within everyone, regardless of gender. These energies are not exclusive to one sex and can be expressed in countless ways by individuals.

Think of it like yin and yang:

Masculine energy: Often associated with action, assertiveness, logic, and striving. Think of the hero on a quest, the builder, the protector.
Feminine energy: Often associated with receptivity, creativity, intuition, and connection. Think of the nurturer, the artist, the healer.

Key to remember:

Individuals: People can embody both these energies to varying degrees and in unique ways. A woman can be a skilled warrior, while a man can be a nurturing artist.

Fluidity: These energies are not fixed identities but fluid expressions. We can move between them depending on the situation and our own personal growth.

Cultural influence: While these energies might have biological and evolutionary roots, cultural expectations and traditions often shape how they are expressed in different societies.
Benefits of understanding these archetypes:

Self-awareness: Recognizing these energies within ourselves can help us understand our strengths, weaknesses, and motivations.
Empathy: Understanding how these energies manifest in others can help us build stronger relationships and communicate more effectively.

Storytelling: Archetypes are powerful tools for storytelling, helping us connect with characters and themes that resonate across cultures and time.

Remember, these are simply frameworks, not rigid definitions. Don’t get caught up in labeling yourself or others based on archetypes. The beauty lies in the infinite spectrum of human individuality and how these energies can blend and express themselves in unique ways.

So, explore these archetypes with curiosity and an open mind. Use them as tools for understanding yourself and others, but never as boxes to limit anyone’s potential.

Shadow Work Coaches, Facilitators and One to One Practitioners

Listing of shadow work coaches and therapists

All the therapists listed below are certified and qualified by Healing The Shadow. You can read about Healing The Shadow, an organisation dedicated to training practitioners in shadow  work here.

Coaches and Practitioners (aka Facilitators) in one to one work

Richard Martyn practices in various locations around the south west of England. He may also offer sessions by Zoom. See his website here: Richard Martyn.

Laura Stoddart practises in Devon, offering one-to-one Healing The Shadow sessions in South Devon and Frome (weekends only). You can read about Laura Stoddart here.

Ali Kirk practises Healing The Shadow sessions in Hereford & Abergavenny, and online via Zoom You can see his website here: 
Ali Kirk, certified shadow coach. 
Or you can contact him by phone on  07792 405 660.

Rachel Mitchell sees clients in her dedicated practice room in Bristol. You can read about Rachel Mitchell on this website. Or you can email her on:    Racheljmitchell88@gmail.com

Rod Boothroyd is a certified practitioner who works with clients on Zoom. Contact details here: www.strongfreemen.co.uk 

Marianne Hill is the founder of Healing The Shadow, and offers sessions in her dedicated practice room in Frome, Somerset and online. Contact Marianne Hill here.


What Is Shadow Work?

Shadow work is a type of introspective work that involves exploring and integrating the darker, less desirable aspects of ourselves that we tend to repress or deny. It can be a challenging and uncomfortable process, but it can also be incredibly rewarding in terms of personal growth and self-awareness.

Here are some reasons why you might want to see a shadow work coach or therapist:

  • You feel stuck or stagnant in your personal growth journey. If you feel like you’ve hit a wall and can’t seem to move forward in your personal growth, working with a shadow work coach or therapist can help you identify and work through the blocks that are holding you back.
  • You struggle with self-esteem or self-worth issues. If you struggle with feelings of unworthiness, self-doubt, or shame, shadow work can help you uncover the underlying beliefs and emotions that are fueling these feelings and learn how to reframe them in a more positive way.
  • You have a pattern of self-destructive behaviors or relationships. If you find yourself engaging in self-sabotaging behaviors or attracting unhealthy relationships, shadow work can help you identify the root causes of these patterns and learn how to break free from them.
  • You want to deepen your spiritual practice. Shadow work is often a key component of spiritual growth and can help you develop a deeper understanding of yourself and your connection to the divine.

Overall, working with a shadow work coach or therapist can help you cultivate greater self-awareness, acceptance, and compassion for yourself and others. It can be a powerful tool for personal growth and transformation.

Shadow work involves exploring the hidden, suppressed, or repressed parts of ourselves that we might not be fully aware of. This can include examining negative emotions, past traumas, limiting beliefs, and unhealthy behaviors. Some benefits of shadow work compared to other kinds of therapy include:

  • Deeper self-awareness: shadow work can help you become more aware of your own patterns of behavior and thought. By identifying the unconscious aspects of yourself that may be driving your actions, you can develop a greater understanding of yourself and your motivations.
  • Healing of past traumas: this kind of work can help you confront and process past traumas you may have been avoiding or repressing. By bringing these experiences to the surface and working through them, you can begin to heal and move forward.
  • Increased emotional intelligence: exploring your shadow can also help you develop greater emotional intelligence as you learn to identify and regulate your own emotions. By becoming more self-aware, you can also become more empathic and understanding of others.
  • Greater authenticity: you may find it easier to embrace all aspects of yourself, including the parts that you may have been hiding or suppressing, when you delve into your shadow. And by accepting and integrating your shadow self, you can live more authentically and express yourself more fully.
  • Greater personal growth: you can develop a deeper understanding of yourself and the world around you, leading to greater personal growth and transformation. By confronting your fears, insecurities, and limitations, you may break through emotinal and psychological barriers and achieve greater levels of self-actualization.

While shadow work may not be the best fit for everyone, it can be a powerful tool for those seeking deeper self-awareness, healing, and personal growth.